Recently, I had escorted my friend, Lizbeth to the Lillian Beam building in United States International University (USIU). She was going to pick her document from a computer there. So she sat down and logged on. I stood behind her chair. There was this man at the next computer. He asked why I did not get a chair for myself. I told him we had just come from class and I did not need to sit. I wondered why he was so interested that I sit. Nobody else in the room seemed to care. Then as I looked at her screen I saw he got up and went to speak to a person seated at the computer at the corner. A few seconds later I felt hands around my waist. I panicked and moved my hands and reached down to remove these intrusive grasps on my body. How dare he? I felt like hitting him. I wondered why he would resist removing his paws even when I combined pushing them off and giving him stern eyes. He claimed that he had excused himself and I had not moved. Aside from me not even being in his way, he had not spoken. Well that was a blatant lie.
I am a fan of Ted Talks. I find them very informative. They do have a wide range of topics. One that I watched ‘spoke’ to me. It is Colin Stokes talking. He spoke on what movies teach children about adulthood. Specifically ‘How movies teach manhood’. He speaks about the positions that male characters take in a film.
Colin stokes stated that 1 out of 5 women in America say that they have been sexually assaulted.
In 2012, Gender minister Naomi Shaban stated, statistics indicate that one in five Kenyan women has experienced sexual violence representing an increase of 5.1 per cent since 2003. An assault can happen whenever someone touches another person and that person does not want to be touched.
Whose fault is this? What makes an assailant think that they cannot invest in a relationship with this person first before touching them? What makes them think that women are there to be grabbed and not say anything about it? How does one come to the conclusions that, ‘hey, look at her. I like her body. I am going to touch it’.
Personally, I find such behavior disgusting. It is not attractive to say the least. Colin asks what these men have learnt and what have they failed to learn? Is it a question of dominance? He states that boys should love to love their sisters and make sure that no harm comes to them. Instead of making the woman next to you feel insecure, why not let her feel that she can trust you whole heartedly? The lurking eyes given to you as you walk in the street. Those untamed appendages that reach out to touch you when you are not looking. The men that think they are blessing you with their touch. Keep it! Grow up. No grabbers allowed.
Try putting a smile on a lady’s face instead of a bad taste in her mouth. Leo Tolstoy, in his book Anna Karenina wrote, ‘Respect was invented to cover the empty place where love should be’. So to put things simply, since we are never going to be in love or love one another, dude, please respect the boundaries of personal space.