By Guest Writer Tim Mworia
I'm not big on fashion trends. I'm passive about the whole thing to be honest. Just like I am with art. I'm especially incapable of having a clue what the hell women apparel and accessories are on about. But it doesn't mean I'm completely aloof about it. Just like inspiring art, I'm quite capable of appreciating trendy female fashion.
But it's the intricacies of everything beauty that makes my brain spin. Who honestly has the mental faculties to keep up with the particulars about this stuff? For a person who only got the difference between a skirt and a dress in his teenage years, some of these lady garbs are simply confusing.
Not only me, but many men. I remember a friend who was asked, "Babe, what do you think of my new Bob?" before staring cluelessly at her chest and then responding, "I love it". It even extends into the baby stuff. My brother-in-law, father of two kids, still can't differentiate a bib from a napkin.
This brings me to the Patchouli story. I fling-ishly romanced a fashion nerd in High School who was frighteningly quite liberal with body care products - to her detriment. She walked into class one day with conspicuously glistening skin and reeking like she just smoked a whole Marijuana plant. It was Patchouli Essential Oil.
Patchouli was a hippie perfume in the 60's and is nowadays used for aromatherapy. It's also an aphrodisiac! So, no prices for guessing what oil I recommend to the girls. But that's beside the point...my little experience with Patchouli provided me with an anecdote that I still use to my advantage any time I need to break the ice with a lady or when trying to find a common ground from where conversation can flow. This dreadfully meager cosmetic expertise I possess has gotten me a few appreciative smiles and giggles and phone numbers over the years.
So hear ye, hear ye fellow fashion-clueless men, here's a lesson that may come in handy the next time; know your girly stuff. As hard and as painful as it may be, just know it. And I'm not asking you go on a Kardashian binge or sit through Fashion Police with paper and pen in hand - just be passively aware... Passively aware of dress tops, fringes, acne wash, maxi skirts, peplums, rose water, Louboutin's or any of the other unnecessary stuff. Not for her, but for you!
You can follow Tim on Twitter @Timworia